That is what it feels to be a fixer when you actually need to repair your self.
You’re a fixer. You repair everybody else’s issues however your individual. You possibly can’t assist the folks you wish to assist probably the most, your loved ones, so you're feeling the necessity to assist others in any respect prices. It doesn’t matter that you simply’re drained or burned out, you’ll STILL do it. It feels nice at first, that instantaneous gratification you're feeling from serving to another person, however it will possibly get exhausting.
You do that for years on finish. Fixing, mending, all the time questioning, “Did I do enough?”, and feeling such as you didn’t. Even when folks you may have helped let you know that you've, you all the time really feel like you could possibly do extra as a result of it’s what you do—you’re a fixer. You're keen on fixing, however mates see how confused you're and infrequently they let you know take a while for your self. You typically don’t, even if you happen to really feel in your intestine that it’s vital.
You don’t do it as a result of that might require you to place your needs and desires earlier than another person’s, and that's one thing you don’t like doing. You typically assume that if you happen to work on your self, you'll begin to see all of the components of you which can be uncared for. The belongings you felt the necessity to repair for others however didn’t repair for your self. You don’t like admitting that we have to cease fixing others to repair ourselves.That’s not one thing you do both. That you must be weak to shut family and friends to ensure that you, the fixer, to repair your self and see that you simply need to be cared for and cherished the identical manner you do for others.
If you cease fixing everybody on a regular basis and begin engaged on your self, you may really feel unconformable and misplaced at first, as a result of for the primary time in a very long time, you’re not hiding behind serving to somebody. However in actuality, you’re serving to the person who wants it most—your self.
You’ll all the time really feel the necessity to assist others, as that's what a fixer does, however when you begin doing the work, feeling and coping with what that you must to be able to lastly repair your damaged items, you’ll really feel higher.
That you must begin saying no if you actually can’t assist somebody, even if you actually wish to say sure to folks as a result of that’s your go-to. You additionally really want to follow self-care, no matter that appears like for you. Take time to heal your self—it is going to be price it. You will notice that after you begin doing these items, that is what it can take to lastly actually repair your self with assist from these round you. That is what it feels prefer to be a fixer when you actually need to repair your self.