Right here I'm, sitting amongst what I as soon as may solely dream about, feeling caught. Feeling caught. How does this at all times occur? It’s like life is a kind of movable mountain climbing partitions the place it doesn’t matter how a lot you climb, you’re nonetheless in the identical spot as if you began. You may obtain what you dream however it’ll at all times outcome within the beginning of a brand new dream and the way freaking unfair is that?
I’ve just lately been launched to the time period poisonous positivity and wow was that an eye-opener. Who knew it may very well be poisonous to be constructive on a regular basis? I assumed that’s what I used to be alleged to attempt for. Completely satisfied blissful blissful, no issues to see right here! The struggles are simply part of the #journey. You don’t ever want to fret about me. I’m the blissful go fortunate humorous buddy.
And I'm wondering be pleased about occasions like these. Not grateful like, instagrammable grateful, truly grateful. Like the kind of grateful the place I fall asleep peacefully at evening and don’t hit my snooze twenty occasions within the morning. That type of grateful. The type that doesn’t want to attract consideration to itself as a result of it’s simply there. It may virtually be confused for complacency.
After which I’m reminded of what number of phases of life I've rushed via earlier than. Those the place I simply maintain on for pricey life with my tooth gritted and eyes closed simply ready for it to be over. Irrespective of how tough these intervals have been, they nonetheless have a spotlight reel. One which I usually look again via and want that I had embraced them a bit tougher. That I had appreciated the great via the unhealthy just a bit bit extra. That I had realized then how unattainable excellent was, and simply liked the imperfections as exhausting as my younger coronary heart may.
I keep in mind how far the longer term stretches earlier than me. I’m the oldest and youngest I’ll ever be, as they are saying. And I can really feel the load of my knowledge and the weightlessness of my momentary youth. And I understand how there'll at all times be new songs to get able to. There’s at all times a brand new place to go. And all I can take into consideration tonight is his acquainted melodic laughter and her new and judgeless friendship and the way irrespective of what number of payments I've to pay, the times at all times finish with a sundown and start with a dawn except it’s raining. Which is a peaceable magnificence by itself.
I take into consideration the reality in all of the clichés, how so many have been in my sneakers earlier than me. Properly, not the very same sneakers, which is a miracle all by itself. I've my very own footprints to go away to be washed away, which could be seen as unhappy, however no less than I had the possibility to play within the sand in any respect. This actually isn’t so unhealthy. We now have our music and our good meals and the truth that friendship love is a lot extra influential than as it's portrayed within the motion pictures. And the way romantic love is a lot quieter and lovelier than these watered down overdone romantic gestures.
Actuality is fairly too. It’s additionally ugly, however not as ugly as over-edited perfection.
Yeah, this actually isn’t so unhealthy, Is it?