If you think about it, human intercourse is a pretty odd thing. There are all these rituals and procedures that people go through before engaging in sex. You know, the thing that supposedly makes you feel close to your partner?
Everyone is familiar with a courtship phase that later leads to action in the bedroom. This might include a date, dinner, or a simple invitation to “Netflix and chill.”
And everyone has heard of those mixed morning-after feelings that people get when they come home after bedding someone. These feelings can range from satisfaction to regret. And nothing quite sums it up like memes. The best sex memes are realistic, relatable, and pretty blunt about the reality of sex.
But sex is actually pretty darn weird — and these memes prove it.
"How you look at your girl 20 minutes into 'Netflix and chill'"
"When he start kissing the neck before Netflix even loads"
"Bae: come over
Me: but I'm a cactus
Bae: my parents aren't home
"Dudes love telling a woman how they like to see her in matching bra and panty sets, but be walking around in these."
"When you try to be sweet but you're still a pervert."
"When bae asks me what do I want for Valentine's Day / Dat A**"
"When she says she likes intelligent guys..."
Me: about to have an anxiety attack
F***boy: without me 😉
Me: I love a man who can be assertive and take charge
Also me: 'Who the f*** are you talking to, first of all.'
"When he wants you to do all those nasty things you sexted to him when you were bored and lonely."
"Write a sad story in 4 words: 'I shaved for nothing.'"
"When you shave everything and exfoliate your entire body for an 'Actually what about tomorrow night?'"
"When he says Netflix and chill but you walk in and he ain't even got a TV."
"When she says 'go deeper' but you've run out of poems."
"When you almost died during round one and he ask if you ready for round two."
"When she's watching him go get the towel thinking to herself 'hmmm maybe he is different from the rest.'"
"When you're waiting for him to come back with a towel."
"When he start yelling too many instructions while y'all having sex: 'Now flip over... on your side... turn around... look at me..."
"I honestly think I already have feelings for you... How do you feel about me?
Lol you wildin', wyd though?
Him: Let's make a sex tape.
Her: Hmm... sounds freaky... OK I'm down.
Him: Sweet! I'll get the pumpkin... you film it.
"When he ask if you have any sex toys: I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty."
"Every day in the shower: who am I shaving my legs for?"
"When you come in the room and your girl is dropping mad nonverbal hints that she wants to catch the D."
Her: My gynecologist says I can't have sex for 2 weeks.
Him: What did your dentist say?'
"When y'all just chillin' and he suddenly whip it out."
Me: Just play with it or somn till it get hard again.
Her: Ew no
Me: (sad face)
"Me: This is the first date. I'm going to be a young lady with manners and I won't kiss him that evening!
Also me: Shave, safety first."
"After you've done something too freaky and you tryna figure out what you've become."
"When you roll up to his crib wit ya sexist outfit on and see his whole squad over."
Her: I haven't shaved.
Him: Girl I'm a grown a** man iont care nun bout no damn hair.'
"When bae says warm up dinner."
Cashier: Woah, big plans tonight?
Me: Shut the hell up Susan and do your job.
"When your 'innocent' friend says something dirty out of nowhere."
"When you receive something nasty but you're around people."
Bae: baby let's role play
Bae: *ties me to bed*
Bae: now that you can't move, I just think it's funny how...
"When you had secret sex with a person and they start liking all your photos and commenting under all your posts.."
"When they quite and shy on the outside but really they packin heat."
Pornhub ads: You won't last 3 minutes playing this
"When you text someone at night on some freaky mood and they reply well into the morning trying to continue: 'The sun is out, I'm pure again.'"
"Day 43 without sex: You up?"
Dude in gray sweatpants: Hi
You: Yes. The penis.
"Me: *trying to get a good night sleep*: Horny thoughts vs. anxiety"
Choke me daddy.
Restrict my airflow father.
"Pornhub gives you 38K for a homemade video... if ya'll see my a** on there mind your business"
You make me smile.
And also super horny, but that's not the point.
"I wanna f*** but I'm too shy to ask you so I'm sending you this meme instead."
"When you're spooning and she pushes her bum up on you and you're like: You don't want to wake the dragon do you?'
"When your girlfriend is silent during sex: Do the roar."
"When you're having sex and your head keeps slamming into the wall so he puts a pillow up to help you."
"When she sick of you but miss the sex: Put yo d*** on the phone."
Helen Luc is a frequent contributor to YourTango. Her writing focuses on love, relationships, and pop culture topics.